why did the chicken cross the road
He got hit by a car halfway across
The driver couldn’t see him because he’s a chicken and chickens aren’t that tall so it wasn’t really his fault but the chicken’s family still sued the driver and got a lot of money from the court case so now the late chicken’s family live in a giant fancy chicken coop and eat those fancy expensive worms the end
That was an adventure
WAIT HOLD THE FUCK UP
IS ‘MRS’ JUST MR’S
LIKE BELONGING TO MR
Mr comes from the French monsieur, which I think literally translates as ‘my lord’ and basically just means master, and Mrs comes from maistre which is the feminine form of master, so actually—for once—no.
This was an extremely relevant comment and I thank you for educating me
(Source: khaleeesii, via bitchcuddle-me)
I woke up, and my hair was magically curled.
The scariest thing about the Kill Ari episodes of NCIS is when Gibbs is really nice and sweet to Tony.
I miss Special Agent Kate Todd.
"YOU ARE A TERRIBLE HUMAN BEING!" yells my military commander. In shame I unzip my human costume to reveal my lizard-self, and leave… all hopes of being part of the covert infiltration of Earth, crushed…